therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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