you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
