While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
