AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
