so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
that may or may not have been my penis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
