yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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