in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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