When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
