"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
