i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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