I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
