Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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