idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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