I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
