he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
