Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
