put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
