He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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