Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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