he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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