sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
