You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
