I feel like abortions should bother me more
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
