Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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