16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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