I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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