I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
