god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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