we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
