Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
