The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
