hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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