I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
