i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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