Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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