That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
