some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
