***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
