Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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