I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
