Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
