I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
