I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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