I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
