An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
