so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
