he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
