this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
