drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
