u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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