Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
